Some advantages of getting older

According to Isabel Allende 'there is nothing more liberating than being an older woman'.

Maybe this is partly because older women no longer have to grovel to seek the approval of others, especially men, although they still like to please. And in the words of Jean Shinoda Bolen, an older woman 'finds her voice' and exhibits a 'fierce truthfulness that springs from the heart'. She can choose to be whoever she wants.

Whether we take action to make ourselves look younger, and most of us are interested in anti-aging products, or decide to live with greying hair,wrinkles and 'the effects of gravity', most older women know that their worth as a human being is not dependent on the way they look on the outside.

Older women learn to please themselves. In this generative phase they usually become more resourceful, improvising to face the changing conditions of their life. They may reinvent themselves, become absorbed in creative endeavours, and fulfil their passions whether they be spending time with grandchildren or taking off on solitary adventures.

When like-minded older women get together, usually not in the presence of men,they can let themselves explode in spontaneous laughter and healing belly laughs. Bolen says that this laughter 'comes from a deep well of feeling' and is an 'expression of the triumph of spirit and soul over that which could have broken us and made us bitter'. I was reminded of this on a recent writing workshop that became a 'laugh fest' leaving our writing pads empty, our ribs hurting and our spirits high.

One of the great things about being older is having the courage to speak the truth without fear of rejection. But the challenge is to speak honestly with compassion. An older woman also knows that to hold the truth from someone you love is not helpful.

Gloria Steinem said 'Women over fifty are a country to which this youth -obsessed culture has few guides'. However, women who are pathfinders discover this country 'as a land of wisdom, joy, freedom and leadership.'